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My New Year Starts Today

I am a word lover, so when I read about choosing a "Word of the Year" on "ink on my fingers" and then watched the video on Christine Kane's Blog, I knew that it was something I could use.
After a lot of thought and false starts I have chosen...

Empower(ed)
~to give the strength and confidence to act on their own initiative~

Perfect.

So much, so many days, I have squandered because I have unwittingly , ignorantly, put my power into another's (sometimes careless, sometimes cruel) hands.
This year, 2010, I will empower myself. I will become the driver, the conductor, the dictator, the play...
I will rule my life under my own rules and regulations, my own code. It will be a kind yet firm rule!
2009 was a hard year for me. Many battles lost and yet because of these I leave 2009 a better woman than she who entered.
If I had to choose a word for 2009 it would be "Attention".
I was coasting (for the last 20 years, no less). My lack of attention and blatant disregard had left me small and ashamed. Living like there was no tomorrow wasn't fun, exciting or mindful, it was bleak and harsh and numbing.
The change came in an odd yet typically ironic form. A medium in which I had mocked others for being "too self-important"...Blogging and pure laziness. I read a few blogs and found I was interested in these woman's lives...Surely they have overcome problems too...And the photos! Wow. Amateur photos and so inspiring! I was too lazy to research where to get images for free, and more, I didn't want to link them (I had yet to discover the easy "link" button and was typing in HTML too often!). This led me to pick up my old point and shoot, I wouldn't have to link but would have passable imagery along with my words.
What I found...

Beauty.
Everywhere.
Inspiration to record and pay Attention.
How lucky I am to be thrown into the position of Historian, scribe of my own life. With the attention lavished on the minutiae, my heart, soul and inner life has grown. In ways I never imagined could be true for me. Attention to the details of my life, so I'd have something to share, has brought me so much hope, joy and pleasure! It has been the most important lesson I have ever learned.

Not paying enough attention has caused
  • a ruined financial life...
  • a large and uncomfortable body...
  • a cluttered living space...
  • failed relationships and friendships...
  • lost memories, (or perhaps never created)...
I am slowly working on each of these to fix them to a point I am comfortable with. However, like most things, some damage can never be undone.
I hope, if nothing else for 2010, you learn the value of attention.
Life moves so quickly. Grasp tight my friends!
I will share the "Rules for Life ~under the Reign of ME~" Tomorrow, as this feels like quite enough to share today...And no photo! :)
xoxox

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

Hi Andrea,
I would like to use your words posted here for my new class starting on the 25...need your permission.OK?
These are indeed empowering thoughts and words you have expressed but also very well expressed and beautiful.
love you...Mom

Nancy*McKay said...

...have i told you that...i...love...you...yet in 2010...!

~My Rustic Soul~ said...

Perfect! How very well Said.. I too must learn this...(From your Words)

I will rule my life under my own rules and regulations, my own code. :)

Torilpia said...

A very good post .. I have som knowledge of this as well. Needs attention for sure. And is very very important when it comes to relationships to other people. Thank you for sharing :o)

Lots of love!!

Jennifer said...

I agree...very well said and amazingly very similar to my story and thoughts on the year. It is great reinforcement and inspiration for planning how I'm changing my approach to life.