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Respectfully Misunderstood


Bug. , originally uploaded by Jessica Florence.
A Lovely Rat
Go look at this lady's Photostream! Amazing!

I don't mind that you don't understand me.
What I mind is the way you do it.
-Me

After reading a post from Meg today I realized that at one time in my life it was very important to be understood exactly as I wanted to be understood. Now that I've grown (up?) I realize that the only really important thing is to be respected, misunderstood or understood...
When it comes to true depression the amount of times one is told to "snap out of it" can be astounding. This is a complete "disrespectful and misunderstanding" thing to say...Perhaps it is scary to not understand a person we care about. When we are afraid compassion flies out the window, carrying along sense and kindness. Perhaps we need to a little more honest with ourselves and the people we talk to. Perhaps our goal should be, not to understand, but to respect, sympathize, and love, regardless of comprehension.

Luckily there can be love without understanding...

Have a wonderful day full of respect and love for those you love...

14 comments:

MrsLittleJeans said...

My mom always told me what did I care what others thought of me (in a positive way of course) and later I discovered that Richard Feynman, the genius physicist nobelaureate said the same thing. I think we cherish being understood and loved but sometimes we are hard to read and often the observers are self-absorbed! At any rate, you do have a good suggestion, to try to love everyone, at least something in them. I think you are very easy to love and if difficult to understand it would be because you are a rich multifaceted gem soul. Have a wonderful Tuesday!

xx

CrowNology said...

Thank you MrsLittleJeans!
Perhaps an unpolished piece of granite. ;)
xo to YOU!

Ange said...

You know Andrea, before people are afraid, I think they pass through pride and disbelief, then helplessness which can invoke anger. Anger at themselves at being powerless to help that they take out on 'you' because they exteriorise it, refusing to acknowledge that it comes from inside. No one can understand depression or the deep effect it can have before they've gone through it. Probably more and more people will, but many will still get by distracting themselves and thinking you should be able to too.

kerin rose said...

Andrea...here is the way I always think about it...you don't always have to understand, but when you love someone, you have to accept. Accepting someone else's reality is the first step to closeness and healing...unless you do that, you can talk and try to understand till you are blue in the face, but you will not get anywhere!...

yah!...the world according to 'me'! :)

ox K

MrsLittleJeans said...

Naaaah, absolutely not!

Nancy*McKay said...

...oh i love what MLJ just wrote...as well as your post, Andrea...in this "era of" instant gratification...many look to love...& be loved...instantly...


to understand...& be understood...instantly...


not doubting the SPARK in the instant connection...only highlighting the fact that lightning often travels...miles...before it strikes...


and makes that powerful connection.

XOXO


~more like a natural ruby, A~

CrowNology said...

I love the discussion that this has sparked. Thank you for taking the time and thought to post these responses.
xo

Christina Edwards said...

wow. that is an amazing stream! can't wait to show to my follow rat loving friends.

shellbell said...

oh that feeling of being misunderstood. i wish i could be as brave as you about it! so often, someone who has known me my whole life (a-hem, my mom) will say something to me... and all i can think is, have you been paying attention? do you even know who i am, you who raised me?! and it is utterly depressing.
i really need to learn to let go of the feelings that accompany those instances. she... *anyone* is free to see whatever it is they do in me. just because it doesn't match my self-interpretation doesn't make it wrong. right? sigh... it still bothers me.

you lovelies, who have commented above, are clearly far more wise and mature than i am.

Fringe said...

your post is beautiful.

if everyone would live by the golden rule and also love themselves...well, that would be perfect.

xo

emilypauline said...

I happened to come upoun your blog and I just love this post, its the most thougtful thing I have read so far in the blogging world. Its exactly what i needed to hear, amazing! and the picture you chose is just beautiful, I could look at it all day haha! thankyou for the thoughts.

CrowNology said...

Thank you so much everyone for your responses.
xo

Torilpia said...

So so true .. :o)

As you may know .. I do suffer from a depression that seems to come and go as it likes .. it's not easy to live with - and I'm not easy to live with .. But the worst thing anyone can say to me - is; Snap out of it ..
It doesn't work like that .. but I wish it would - then it would have been easy .. and I wouldn't be sick ..

Hugs!!

CrowNology said...

Torilpia,
I have battled depression for the last 25 years or more, it started as anxiety when I was a child but I am having longer reprieves and shorter durations of illness...I hope you can find the right lifestyle to allow you the same. I have made lifestyle changes only, no drugs, to feel the best I ever have. I have tried the drugs in the past and they weren't right for me...Each of us needs to find and DO what works for us...
Love and best wishes,
Andrea