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You Must Eat So Many Lemons!

In baking one would add a little sugar to mask or alter bitterness but what does one do when it seeps into your life?

lemony

Bitterness comes from the unresolved anger and frustration of having unmet desires and needs.

When we are hurt and disappointed we have needs that are being unmet, even disregarded.
~ our need for love and kindness ~
The weathered anger becomes bitterness...
Forgiveness, gratitude and knowledge may be the ingredients for letting go of these negative emotions.
We need to acknowledge the bitterness and find the root.
I have met the most bitter soul and she has been the one to change the path I was on...I was bitter and resentful about some of the "crosses" I've had to bear...Meeting her and seeing how she lives has made me seriously consider the path I walk.
The life of the bitter is nothing short of a living hell.
Most importantly almost all the causes are in her power, she is an extremely talented, intelligent, able and witty woman, to change. She made me aware of the bitterness I was carrying, the unresolved anger and hurt.
Slowly, one by one, I've been holding the things that have hurt me in my mind...
I reflect upon them, consciously decide if I can forgive and then also consciously work to forgive.
This is not a passive thing. It is tricky and slippery and sneaky but with practice and work it becomes easier...
The bitterness towards some of my "crosses" has practically evaporated. When viewed with the knowledge of, and the desire to part with, the pain it has become impossible to not see that it was me nurturing this "lemony-bitterness"...I was constantly (lovingly!) restocking the lemons in the fruit basket...
I was hurt and I was angry and by not dealing with it properly, I let in turn into bitterness...
As humans I believe we are evolutionarily designed to judge from one experience and it has kept us alive.
We ate a berry it made us violently ill ~
"Note to Homo Neanderthalensis self...do not eat that berry again!"...And unfortunately we have probably missed some very yummy berries in the avoidance.
Luckily, we have also evolved the ability to reason and to make choices. When we judge an experience, or like the woman above, an experience with deceptive men, and base everything on that one experience we are doing ourselves and the world a huge disservice. And we are opening the door to bitterness.

The sugar of this life comes from the multitude of experiences we can have...
To get that sugar we must forgive ourselves and those "crosses". We must remember to be grateful for a mind and a life that allows us all this experience...Some so beautiful...
I am not saying to keep doing something over and over which is obviously not working as this can result in frustration, which leads to bitterness too.
Just be conscious of the possibility of bitterness, the "sour taste in your mouth" is your first clue!

Go make some lemonade my lovelies!
I've seen some yummy looking lemon bars floating around the blogosphere as late too. Perhaps a recipe is waiting for your lemons...
xoxox

Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs from www.theskooloflife.com

5 comments:

Ange said...

Lots of lemonade over here - seems like you don't need it! Isn't it great when you get that lightbulb and all of a sudden life just becomes so much bigger? Well done you on discovering the secret to a happy - or at least happier life.
Great post!!

*megula* said...

I *love* this... great insight and awesome photo!

MrsLittleJeans said...

Very profound lovely A, and as long as we work on them I believe we will be alright! : ) I have already copied that lovely recipe and do intend to make it, really! : )

xoxoxxxo

et lille oejeblik - a little moment said...

lovely post. and thanks for the recipe. i have been wondering what else than lemonade i can make from our lemons :)

shellbell said...

i had forgotten about the hierarchy of needs - thanks for reminding me!

this post resonates.

oh... and i checked out that link you posted in my comments: WOW. in answer to your question, THAT is what i'm looking for!

thanks for sharing that :)