i would like to get married. someday. to someone who likes me "just as i am"...i would like to have a small, eccentric wedding in my dad's backyard. the cheapest. the love priceless...
i want to be a lot thinner. because the clothing i love is only in small sizes. vanity? yes. i am so imperfect you see.
i love vintage things. i always have. but now i'm afraid to buy vintage because of all the talk of bed bugs. i am paranoid about bed bugs. is this the end of second hand?
i am struggling. all-the-time. i can not seem to get a hold of anything solid...the earth is moving and shifting and sending me reeling about.
i wish i were stronger. i wish i were better. i wish i had better balance. i wish i was understood...i wish a lot lately. not on stars. on me.
i wish i was one of those...you know the type. but i'm one of these instead. not too shabby alone but with, so much less.
i wish the snow lasted longer here. when i was a kid the snowbanks were full until the sunshine of spring made it's withdrawal...this place gives tiny servings. i am not satiated. ~growl~
i need a friend. someone who has been here, and there, and knows...i am too greedy for friendship most days. and so i am 'solitarily' confined. except for my cat. luckily she has a nasty disposition towards others of her kind or i could slip into crazy~with~lots~of~cats~lady territory very easily.
it's been a very difficult time. it will pass...as everything does.
i need a cigarette. i've never smoked.
i've not read in four days. a record i think...i am afraid of another ending...
do not worry these are the ramblings of a mind which has seen better days...today this reflects me. and gives me a little space to breathe and hope.
hope you are better organized than i today!