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To Schlepp or not to Schlepp : There is no question...

I shall schlepp...

To carry one's life on her back, without breaking, she must bring strength, positive thought, courage...and hot tea, good food, supportive friends.

breaking the ice

I spent the weekend doing those "manly" duties that sometimes make me wish...
  1. To be a child again.
  2. To be in any relationship at all...Even one that isn't working.
  3. To be rich with servants. ;)
I carried dozens of boxes up three flights of twisted, wearied stairs. I cleared ice and snow from fire escapes, stairs, walkways, decks...I sawed the weak heads off stripped screws and leveled wooden walls. I applied chemicals and watched the skin of decades old paint pock. I scraped and sweat...

Last night, as I sat with steaming chai in a beautiful china tea cup, wrapped in cashmere and silks {well sort of... ;)} buttered with rose scented lotion...I thought I am all I need.
Tea
For this day I do not need anyone else.
The loneliness I sometimes feel is soothed with thoughts of how much I am getting done. The mental work has been the hardest. The idea of being responsible for all the good and all the bad in my life is daunting. {Having no one to blame for things that sometimes go wrong...}...I am working very hard on being happy alone. I've been putting more effort into those friendships I've had for years but never stoked. I am so grateful and amazed to have such loyal friends. I am spending my time doing things that will positively effect my future...I'm not entirely certain as to why, but this new year brought about the very rousing realization that I only get one shot at this life.
This is my life and it
needs work to work...
The physical work...I've decided to re-join my local gym, which will cause financial depletion in other less important areas of my life. Budgeting is now essential. The benefits I get from going to a gym have always been more than worth the money. I have more energy, more confidence, I sleep much better, I am inspired and feel friendlier some how...I've also been cooking wonderful meals for One. I set the table* with a cloth placemat and napkin, use my pretty glasses and my pretty, old mismatched china...
Tasty
{The above takes moments to make...Cooked Whole Wheat Pasta (one serving, any type), dash extra virgin olive oil (EVOO), 1 clove garlic, 1/2 sweet onion, 1 cup spinach, 1 cup shrimp, 3 sun dried tomatoes, basil and black pepper to taste...Saute the onion and garlic in EVOO until onion is transparent, Add the rest of the ingredients to same pan, cook until shrimp are pink and then toss in the pasta...You can sprinkle with parmasan, add garlic toast and red wine if you'd like...}

Being a Woman doing all these things while wearing flowered long johns, crocheted knee highs, leather work gloves and safety glasses...It is good.
Toasty

I hope you had a productive and enlightening weekend as well.
Much love.

CrowNology

*Actually a desk in my livingroom, as my kitchen table is piled with renovation things...

12 comments:

MrsLittleJeans said...

what a lovely post...I agree with #1 and #3, and #2, only if it is working (you will gradually see that my dear friend- you are too good for sth that is not working)
I did some of what you are doing now a while back...it is great to do, to be doing...
xoxo

Andrea~CrowNology~ said...

MLJ...You never disappoint! Thank you. XOXO

Kathleen said...

#1 and 3 yes! #2 been there and done that! I would rather be single and shovel poop, than be with a man...just to be with him!

I love being alone, but sadly doesnt happen often enough. getting to know yourself is as interesting as getting to know another.

Sounds like you are trucking away and really forging a path for yourself and that makes me happy.

working out also helps me find some balance and patience. Time to think and process.

I will be making that for lunch tomorrow btw. Looks so good!

kathleen xx

mice_aliling said...

Hello, Andrea. My weekend was spent teambuilding with co-workers. Very productive in one aspect of my life. I really think that being happy alone is essential before sharing your happiness with someone. :)

Lynn {hearted girl} said...

my heart schlepps with yours doll! what an extreme weekend and i totally feel you about doing it for yourself. i've been there and craved for someone, anyone to step forth and help a girl out. especially sucks when you get sick and have to feed yourself - boo.

i love the turn around though and reading your words is very empowering to me. what a lovely writer. adore your table for one! oprah talks about that a lot and how even if it's just for you, still dress up and pour your tea in a pretty china cup. delight is but a few extra steps away. cheers to you on a literal ground breaking weeekend. ♥

Nina said...

Jeeeeeeeeee! Sounding and looking good my friend!

Andrea~CrowNology~ said...

Kathleen...I love being alone too...I think I've inherited a gene or something. I think it would be impossible to be "on call" for me. Hope you enjoy your lunch! xo

Mice...I wish I had co-workers right now! Someone to chat with...xo

Lynn...♥ed girl, thank you so much. x♥

Nina...Thank you Nina. I know you understand what I'm talking about! xo

gallerydarrow said...

You're a remarkable lady Andrea don't ever forget that!

I like the way you're relaxing into yourself, yourself is a good one to rely on.

xo

Nancy*McKay said...

...i could sit alone with you, wrapped in cashmere & silks, sipping steaming chai in blue willow china at your dressed up "kitchen table"...discussing manly things & the art of schlepping, and everything in between...quite happily...
"garcon, dinner for 2 ce soir, s'il vous plait!"

Sofi Stellar said...

I love the photos. Yes, being alone can be very, well, lonely....but there is something sort of liberating and satisfying about it, too, don't you think? You can't blame anyone else for the choices you make, and I really like that.
It sounds like you have a really good mindset where you are at right now <3

UmberDove said...

Your words today made me feel both stronger and softer... a rare gift.

Stride forward sister, and keep on with the flowers and thigh highs!

Andrea~CrowNology~ said...

Thank you so much Rochelle! xo

Nancy, I am right here waiting! A wee trip up...xo

Sofi : Thank you and yes it is very satisfying. I am feeling pretty good. xo

Umber, It's good to be a lady!! XO to you down there in the sun...