This Blog is no longer active...

On Breaking...

This week has been HARD. The kind of hard only the truly struggling tend to understand, many of you, I suspect, will understand.
I contemplated a wee post for this blog on Thursday...
It would have read...






Goodbye and thank you but I am done. There will be nothing more to see
here. I wish you all the best...





Completely based on my real life of course because in here, in this space, I am quite satisfied. I love my commenter's, my readers, the wonderful souls who have reached out through the words to add real tangible value/things to my life...

While I won't go into the very gory details I had a complete meltdown, and worse I broke a promise to myself...And now I am embarrassed, and lost, and angry, and feeling weary of myself...How do we build back that broken trust? How can I believe myself ever again? Am I worth the risk?

Yes. Not a nice post. But not a quitting post either...
We shall have to see...
I am rebuilding and that pisses me off. I thought "all this" was past...
I'll let you know how it goes....

Thank you and this will not be the end.
xo
Andrea
♥♥♥
CrowNology

17 comments:

Lorena sometimes ... said...

i wish you were near ... because i have a pair of arms here to wrap around you!

i have to 'start over' all the time -- and the only thing that matters is that i do. of course you are worth it!!! of course! we all are, everything is ...

sending loving healing thoughts your way ♥

Laurie

Andrea~CrowNology~ said...

xo Laurie...

ShannonAnn said...

Andrea,
I know you are struggling but hang in there, it will pass. Come visit us, meet new people, believe in yourself! We have all had setbacks, embarrassing moments when we wish we could just sink into the earth, moments when we are banshees, I have had them, everyone has had them. There is so much love out there, so much for you!<3

pinkglitterfae said...

sending you a virtual ((hug))
I'm sorry to hear you are struggling with something. I have no idea what happened, but just know that we all do the best we can at any given time. Life just happens, so give yourself a break. You ask how do you believe in yourself: well, who else can you believe in if not you? Yes you are worth the risk, and don't ever think otherwise. Hang in there, this will pass, and maybe one day in the future, you will see why things happened as they did
xoxo
betty

siga said...

Welcome to the Life! As nature has it's changing circles, so our lives does... But if you've noticed, it's not exactly same circle we follow, it's coming up in a spiral ;)

Magdalena said...

tomorrow will be a new day, new prospects and new wind ... everything will work out ...as my sweetest Mom alwayssaid...
and now I write it to you

xo

Stephanie said...

"Hi, Self. Would you like to be my friend after all the times I have failed you?" Hard stuff, very hard.

P.K said...

What can I say, but send good vibes your way.

windrock studio said...

Me too! I totally understand about the starting over and being weary and tired and overwrought and scared and worried and lost and angry, I really get it. But don't tell me a gal who even thinks about climbing telephone poles is giving up, no way.
You hang tough, baby girl, cause you are and that's all. Things will look better real soon.

Kamana said...

glad it is not the end

kerin rose said...

oh my, love....slowly, gently, carefully...you are worth the risk and trust, simply because you are HERE...know you are' worth ' the risk, because that is life...we risk, we fly, we falter, we fall, we fly again....this is the dance of life!....

love and light to you, dear friend

xx K

Jessica / Lola Vintage said...

I hope this is not the end, I truly love your blog. It's one of what I consider the most sound and honest blogs on my roll. I've even considered it 1 of the "spiritual" blogs I like to keep up with. I completely agree with comment # 1 also, you are SO worth it. Maybe you felt like you slipped up, WE ALL DO. For some reason I feel like I've slipped up in the same way you speak of, but I don't know what yours is all about exactly. If it is relationship based, though, it is never easy to let go... Wishing you the best and please don't quit, because you're so good at what you're doing here on this blog.

Nina said...

I am so familiar with your words and what you are going through. I also broke a promise and feel dissapointed in myself. That´s the hard part. Dissapointment. A feeling that always hits you in the ancle. I try to think that we all do this. And try not to be too hard on myself.
Wish I could hug you too.

Andrea~CrowNology~ said...

OH!
My gosh...Thank you so much everyone...
You see...This place is blessed for me.

Tonight, I am hiding out at a friends place. He makes me tea, feeds me Girl Scout cookies and changes the movies...What more could one ask for?

Back to the real world on Tuesday! See you all personally then.
THANK YOU so much...
xo

eNVe said...

Andrea, this too shall pass because you're already on the right track. And once you're on the other side of things, you'll look back with a sense of disbelief that it was even you back there, because you'll feel like a new person. I guess that's how I feel now, looking back at all the dark and crazy times I managed to pull through...and I sometimes can't believe that it was "me" in all that mess. But that me then (mistakes and all), helped to build this me now.. and I'm so proud of what I've become that I've accepted it all. Love and hugs to you. Best of luck and whatever you do, keep writing! :)

sunny smiles said...

You. I read this early this morning, and you have been on my mind frequently today. I'm bone tired but I will leave this here for you now. So you won't forget...I for one, wouldn't hesitate to stand in the fire with you and not shrink back. It's as simple as that. Virtual fire or not. We have all stood where you stand. All of us fall. And fail. All of us get burned. It's the ones who are willing to pick you up that are worth all the gold in the world. May you have all that sparkles in your life once again. Sending you light and love. xo

Tracy said...

Hello, there! I just discovered your blog today... and I am so sorry you are hurting. Though I do not know you yet, I hope to, for there is so much here I resonate with also, so I look forward to visiting again. And yes, you are worth it. We are worth fighting for to get back to our true spirits. Wishing you all the very best. Sending you a bright, comforting light to lift you.. :o)